W&W Paragraph
In the Text wild pork and Watercress by Barry Crump, the author uses idioms to create a “typical new Zealand” voice in his stories. one type of language feature he uses is an idiom. He chooses to use phrases like “Like hell I do” and “Goodnight Lamb” these idioms alongside the use of colloquial language, metaphors, contractions, and chatty informal writing help create a New Zealand voice in his stories that match the scene and format of Wild pork and watercress. The way Barry crumps uses language features such as idioms in his texts creates an atmosphere within the text which Kiwi readers can understand and find amusing and readers of non-kiwi background can find informative of old Kiwi slang. The term “Like hell I do” which is said by Uncle Hec multiple times in the text is an expression of disagreement, and in terms of Idiom works well with portraying Uncle Hecs character as a grumpy Kiwi bloke. On the other hand the Idiom “goodnight lamb” which is said by uncle hec’s partner and Rickeys Foster mum Aunty Bella. Helps reinstates Bella’s personality to being loving and caring as she is calling Rickey a lamb which is soft white and harmless, something that you love. Barry Crump’s useful use of Idioms has created a text in which New Zealand can be described through words, which can make the reader feel at home or in a completely Different world as New Zealand is like no other.
Hi Jack. This is a good explanation and your paragraph has all the necessary parts. Make sure that you are not unnecessarily repeating the statement and therefore confusing the flow of your explanation.
Hi Jack,
It’s nice to be reading some of your work again. I hope all is well with you at the moment!
You have written a good amount for this paragraph however I have noticed that you are repeating a lot of your statements and not really making a clear point for your reader to latch onto. This makes your piece of writing really circular- you avoid making a point about the text. A way to identify when you are doing this is to read your work out loud to yourself as often your ears will pick up on something your mind has read over. This will also help you to improve the technical accuracy of the piece.
While you have many of the elements of a successful paragraph, be sure to organise them logically and in a way where each moment leads into the next. Use SEXY, as we did last year, to guide you to do this.
Look to make your point clear from the beginning so that you know where the paragraph is going- what is it about the use of idiom that helps to establish the ‘New Zealand’ voice and why is this significant in terms of the purpose of the text. If you highlight this ‘big idea’ from the start in your opening statement, you will be able to clearly develop your analysis around this central point.
Make sure you spend time thinking about the ‘why’ of things. Why is the development of the NZ voice important for this text? Why is the use of these colloquial idioms important for this? It looks like you have started to comment on how they help us to gain insight into characters. How does this connect to the NZ voice? And vice versa, what is significant about the fact that these characteristics are communicated in a ‘NZ style’? These are things to have the answer to before you begin putting your paragraph together so you can logically link them to one another.
Let me know if you have any questions about this feedback!
Mrs. P