“If i’m being kind to you, but you think i’m being horrible am i being nice or not?”

I think that in your own way you are being nice in your own culture. But the other person may not understand or take your words the wrong way. E.g. your friend got a new bike and he cared a lot about it and you said ” thats a fat bike” as in meaning it was really cool, But he thought it was actually fat which he would feel like you were being horrible to him.